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Fri, 14/11/2008 - 13:12

Making friends in a new city

Here are five great tips for making friends: You’re moving to a new city to study a degree or two. You can’t wait: Independence!

Soon you’ll be given the opportunity to see what its like to live your own life. You’ll arrive and find a place to live. Before you know it, you’ll be living an exciting new life in a new city with new friends. But is it that easy?

Think about all the friends you have left behind. How long did it take you to make all these friends? What is it about you that attracted them to you when you first met each of them? What is it about your personality that continues to draw your friends to you? Where did you meet these friends?

Let’s face it, making friends is not always easy. Some of us are shy. Some of us need time to get used to a new place and culture. And some of us aren’t interested in making a big effort to find new friends.

In my experience there are some easy ways to go about making friends:

Smile – People are attracted to and enjoy the company of happy people. If you smile, people will think you are a happy person.
Listen – When people feel they are being listened to, they feel valued and appreciated and want to spend more time with you.
Speak clearly – We communicate with each other through talking. If you speak clearly, people will think you are worth talking to.
Stories – Think back across your life. You have probably had some funny and interesting experiences. Use these experiences to tell interesting stories about yourself. Stories also demonstrate that you are a person of value.
Praise – Make an effort to say nice things about people you meet. It demonstrates that you are nice and that you pay attention.

Many years ago I was very shy but I used all of these tools to make friends with both men and women from many cultures. Now these tools are part of my personality and people appreciate spending time with me. What is interesting is that when I use these tools, people respond in the same way. People start to smile back, they listen to what I have to say and they have interesting and funny stories too.

How to make friends: let me know what you think!

When I think back to all of my friends and how we met, all of these tools were used whether on purpose or by accident. What’s your experience? How do you make friends? Are there other tools that you have used that have worked for you? I’d love to read some of your tips.

About the author

Daniel Granot is passionate about helping people improve relationships. Daniel is an entrepreneur who also tutors at university. To find out more about Daniel, visit his Facebook page

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Comments

Creatingchange said:

Such good advice Dan and I think really well put.

I think also if you can see a benefit for someone and take the time let them know, that will always be appreciated. However, you have to have listened first! Just like you said.

Kind Regards