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Thu, 11/06/2009 - 14:20

What’s your problem mate?

Immigrant life can be exciting and fun but also really tough. If they had a chance to do it all over again, I believe many immigrants would think twice before making the decision to move to Australia and build a new life. There I’ve said it, a truly bold statement down under. Why? Well, in Australia it is not polite to complain or talk about problems. What Aussies despise most is the `Whinging Pom, the always complaining Englishman. Former Prime Minister John Howard carefully constructed the myth of the `Aussie battler` who struggles to make ends meet, but never complains and never asks for help. According to Howard, it is one of the great characteristic features of Australian culture. So what is wrong with that concept, why is it not so great after all?

Picture: Maslov's hierarchy of needs, Finkelstein

Most liveable country

When my wife (who is Australian) and I moved to Australia three years ago, we left behind a comfortable job, home and lifestyle in Holland. The climate was crap and the country is sincerely overcrowded, but low housing and education cost, a network of warm friends and family and the possibility to reach the whole of Europe within a few hours make Holland a better place to live than most other countries, but not Australia.

I believe the quality of life down under is possibly better than anywhere else. Australian cities feature high in `rankings of most liveable cities`. The country ticks all the boxes of the Maslov pyramid, the hierarchy of needs. Australia is relatively safe, you could travel and camp in the outback for weeks without fear of being robbed. The economy is in relatively good shape, the climate is fantastic, there is an abundance of space and national parks to relax in and nearby beaches are stunning. Australians are polite and respectful and `mateship` is a great way to bond. So what am I complaining about?

Aussie students don’t complain

When Italians have a problem, they want the whole world to know about it. They would contact everybody in their social network at two o’clock in the morning just to talk and get advice. We all know the American TV shows like Doctor Phil, where people share their problems while the whole world is watching. Americans love to complain about everything and therapists make a great living out of it. In Holland or Germany, people would ask you straight in your face: You look terrible is something wrong? And the practical directness does not end there. Genuinely interested, friends would ask questions until you’ve explained your situation. Than they would do anything to help you out. As Dutch people are problems solvers, they love to find a solution for your problems. No Australian would stand for such behaviour.

Great optimism

One of the great things about Australia is the general optimism and positive mood. People are proud of being Australian and want to help building the country, by buying Australian made products for example. But it also means that it is considered bad manners to throw your problems at other people. You may be unemployed, sick, running out of money and failing all your exams, but if someone asks you how it is going? Your answer should be: Great!

While Australians have problems like everyone else, the Aussie battler myth makes it improper to tell anybody else about it, and worse: it also prevents other people getting involved to help you out as your problems are considered a private matter. I believe this may well be one of the reasons why many international students find it hard to establish meaningful contacts with Australian students. It is impolite for Australians to open up or show an interest in your problems. Because of this, problems in society, with friends or family are often neglected and ignored. It leads to a short term approach, only tackling problems when circumstances become so bad that ignoring is not an option anymore. If an Aussies asks you: `What’s your problem mate? ` They are not really interested in your problems, but your meant to say: `What do you want from me, shut up and leave me alone! `

Where they come from

I once had a hairdresser in Melbourne whose family came from Greece. She told me that her grandparents had moved to Australia in the fifties and that since then they had moved back and forward between Australia and Greece seven or eight times, shipping with them each time all their belongings in boxes. They were never really sure about what they missed most in which country or where they would be really happy. Most of us immigrants/international students would not be able to afford moving up and down all the time, but I bet we all understand where they are coming from!

Please complain

Since we migrated to Australia three years ago, we were forced to move house four times, I completed a postgraduate master degree, started a new compagny plus the Kangaruni website and we are looking forward to receiving our second baby in October after the first was born just two years ago. And all that while the worst economic crisis in history hit the planet: do you think we may have had some problems along the way, you bet! Did we complain about it much: No! But sometimes it is great to blow off some steam, so please use the comment section to let me know where you stand or just to do some old fashioned complaining, enjoy!