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Help!: Homesick

For over 100 years schools have patted homesick students on the back, tried to keep them busy and hoped it would go away. Recent research shows that it's healthier, and more effective to think about better prevention.

What are possible causes for homesickness?

  1. Distance from home and relatives/friends. The further you go the worse it may be.
  2. A sense of anticlimax and unhappiness: You have finally arrived at university after working towards it for so long and it does not live up to your expectations
  3. A heavy workload.
  4. You might feel like you have no control over your life, and that you struggle with `your place` in the environment or university.

What are the Signs? You might notice an increase in:

·        Depressed feelings;
·        Anxiety;
·        Obsessive thoughts;
·        Minor physical problems.

What can you do?

First: admit that you have it. Much of what you know and can rely on is back home. Homesickness is a natural response to this sense of loss. It is normal, not strange, to feel homesick. In fact, research has shown that 90 percent of students feel some levels of homesickness and that 20 percent face a serious level of distress that -- if untreated -- worsens over time and interferes with their ability to benefit from a study experience. A combination of coaching parents and educating students about effective coping actually lowered the intensity of first-year student’s homesickness by 50 percent.
Second: talk about it: Before you leave home, talk about it with an older brother or sister or friend who has gone away from home. It takes strength to accept the fact that something is bothering you and to confront it.

Tips for parents

Involve students in the decision to spend time away from home, so that the student has a sense of control. Before the separation, don't make comments that express anxiety or ambivalence about the student going away. Even "I hope you'll be okay" or "what will I do without you" can leave your son or daughter worried that something bad might happen to them or their parents, and make them preoccupied with thoughts of home.

Tips for Students:

1.     Bring some favorite items from home. Photos, books, even stuffed animals help to give a sense of continuity and ease the shock of a new environment.
2.     Walk around. You will feel more in control if you know where shops, parks and classes are.
3.     Keep in contact with home. Decide what feels best: to have frequent contact (because contact makes you feel better), or little contact (because contact makes you feel worse).
4.     Join student clubs/societies/activities and try to make at least one or two friends. The more you feel part of school/uni life, the less homesick you will feel. Invite other students along. Making friends is a big step to alleviating homesickness. Write them emails, join them on social networking sites like Kangaruni. Let them know you'd like to hear from them, too.
5.     Plan a date to go home and make arrangements. This often helps prevent impulsive returns and keeps you focused on your goals in Australia.
6.     Be realistic about what to expect from your university/school and from yourself. Establish a balance between work and leisure: you are NOT expected to work ALL the time - you would soon burn out. On the other hand, if you don't put in enough time on work, you can very quickly get behind, which only adds to the stresses. We'd all like to be popular, well-dressed, well-organized, well-adjusted. Well, we're not. Setting a goal of perfection is the most predictable way of creating trouble for yourself. Laugh at your mistakes. You're learning!
7.     Seek new opportunities. As scary as it is to see all those people, all those classes, all those buildings, all those choices, they will provide opportunities to meet people who like what you like. Take classes that you're interested in and get involved in your favorite activity, or try new ones.
8.     Do something. Don't wait for it to go away by itself. Buried problems often emerge later disguised as headaches, fatigue, or lack of motivation. Talk to someone. If you haven't yet made friends then try a tutor, supervisor, chaplain.
9.     Live healthy; remember to get enough food, sleep and exercise. 

If it gets really bad:

·        Think about whether the course, university and/or time is right for you. It's not a failure to leave and take another direction. Those who do leave mostly find another course or university with which they are happy, perhaps after taking a year out. Talk to your tutor or career advisor before making any drastic decisions
·        If you stop being able to do normal social and academic things, seek professional help either from your doctor, nurse or the student counseling service.
 
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